I have quite a few friends who are Hokies, and I, by association, am often presumed to be a Hokie as a result. I can say with 100% accuracy that I may have attended a few parties in Blacksburg, and may have even been making drinks for other Hokies at a fraternity party at one time or another, but under no circumstances am I a Hokie. As a matter of fact, I had quite a unique college experience, attending a south-of-here HBCU. Historically Black College or University.
See, as you may know, I-66 is classified as a blasian. Half black, half asian (Korean to be precise, but Blorean doesn’t roll off of the tongue). Smart enough in high school but not necessarily applying myself, I was limited in my post-graduation options and elected to go to the first place that would take me. I-66 U was, at the time, taking anyone with pigment and a pulse, so I was in… and that was a damn shame. Allow me to explain via stories…
A roach.
On my belt buckle.
I jumped up like I’d sat on a hot plate and started brushing off everything but my shoulder. I realized the perpetrator was no longer on my person and I started looking around on the floor, spinning like a top and looking in all directions. Finally I saw it, upside down with its little legs running on air, and stomped it out as if it were a fire. I looked up and my roommate was looking at me with his jaw hanging by a thread.
“What the hell’s wrong with you?” he asked.
“Roach. On my belt buckle.” I said between breaths.
What I learned: We had big roaches. And that doesn’t even mention the dude who smashed one against the wall with an NBA slam dunk-style jumping bare handed swat in front of 10 other people and the fact that nobody would dap him up for weeks after that.
What I learned: HBCU’s are measurably more conservative than others. To say the least.
What I learned: If you give us very little, we’re going to take what we can get when we can get it.
“They chasin me”
Two guys who looked somewhat bum-esque came running up seconds later and realized he was gone.
“DAMN! We was gon get him!” they said before walking off.
Three of us scrambled into the building and up the stairs to his room and opened the door and found him sitting on the floor in the corner. According to him, he was coming home from the 7-11 (which nobody ever went to alone, except him evidently) and these 2 guys called him over from behind a building. Our friend then ran and was chased. We think he probably left out the part where he said something about what they should do to themselves which caused them to chase him. Whichever.
What I learned: Don’t go to 7-11.
It was the night of the basketball intramurals championship game. Two teams faced off in the gym, but the match never finished because one of the girls in the stands threw a bottle down at one of the players. It smashed at his feet and he looked up in the stands quickly before running from the court to the bleachers, finding the offender, and bodyslamming her. To say a fight broke out is an understatement. Later that night there was semi-automatic gunfire at the dorm across the street. Rumor has it that the guy who slammed the girl was in vicinity and fled the scene, deciding to hide in my dorm. That is evidently the reason for the real fire that was started in a trash can in a bathroom upstairs from us. When the alarm went off, we assumed it was someone trying to sneak out of the building so we stayed in our room playing Playstation. My roommate and his friend came down and threw the door open and told us we’d better get out because it was a real fire. It started in the trash can on roommate’s friend’s floor and they stopped off to tell us. With everyone driven out of the building by the fire (the reason it was presumably started to begin with), if I’d been shot at I would’ve made for a location far away personally instead of standing around outside in the open, which may be why there was no drama outside.
What I learned: Transfer. Now.
Not good times.
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My son is also “Blorean” but your right…it’s not a very smooth sound.