Long time readers of this blog know that I write my fair share about driving, and the asshattery that goes on around the area perpetrated by its fine driving citizens. Today I give you more.
Wednesday night I drove to RFK Stadium via the Southeast Freeway, the route I usually take for DC United games. As is the case on midweek game nights, and on some weekend game nights, the ramp up to Pennsylvania Avenue, very very close to my destination, was backed up with cars in both lanes of the exit. For those unfamiliar, the freeway is 3 lanes wide there – two for Pennsylvania, and the left most lane takes you to the stadium. So, what does everyone who wants to get up to Pennsylvania but is in so much of a hurry that they don’t want to wait do? They get in the left lane and go all the way until the last possible inch of pavement that will still allow them to get onto the exit ramp, stop, and wait for someone to let them in. My lane should be free-flowing all the way to the stadium, but no, here I am sitting here staring at your brakelights as you try to wedge your nose in there. Awesome.
Now, pretend for a moment that you’re at Kings Dominion. You’ve been waiting in line for going on 90 minutes to ride The Rebel Yell backwards or The Anaconda. You’re almost to the end. In fact, you’ve reached the point where you’re in the smaller lines that are setup for each individual roller coaster car, and after the person in front of you gets on, you get to ride next. All of the sudden a person appears to your left. They’ve just wandered up, past the line, and they’re just standing there as if they’re waiting to get on the ride. Are you going to let them in?
Don’t like roller coasters? You’re at the DMV, waiting to get your little number so you’ll know when to get up and go to the window. You’ve been there for an hour in line. A guy walks up to your right and waits, looking to step in the first moment anyone leaves a gap big enough for him to fit. Are you going to be the one to let him in?
The chances of either of these last two scenarios happening are very slim. Why? Because nobody would dare try it because not a person in this world would let them in. They’ve been waiting forever, and they’d probably just as soon punch you in the face than let you cut in front of them. “You can wait like everyone else” they’d probably say.
So why is it that when we’re in a car the rules change?
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Admittedly I’ve become a worse driver living here. I’ve lived in NY, Atlanta, Miami and Phoenix and I drove the same in all those cities. But here, I find stupid people and stupid “gray area” rules that impede progress. Take for instance, “No turn from 4-6 p.m.” I realized if I paid heed to all those useless signs in D.C., right now I’d still be stuck in rush hour. WEDNESDAY’s RUSH HOUR.
I make full use of the “no turn on red” by turning, and when I try to merge into the hell that is Dupont Circle, and I’m behind a family from Minnesota who doesn’t understand the rotary, I drive in the bike lane (if there are no bikes) to get around them, to illegally turn on red into the circle. For I understand if I wait till it’s green, the synchronization of the lights is such that certain spokes of the circle will never be able to get in because the cars back up too much.
I only pass those long lines of cars and cut in when a couple things are in play:
1) I’m late for the gym and someone kept me at work late.
2) The people are staring at the cherry blossoms and not filling in the gaps where appropriate, thereby making the traffic jam longer and larger, thereby backing traffic up onto the outer highways for more time.
I admit to breaking a few laws (coughnoleftturnsonGfromMaineAveexit) but I never make such an asshole of myself that I would violate the above. Sure, it isn’t a law per se, but it is still ridiculous.
when i was 16 i ran a police officer off the road in dupont circle. … i was sure i was gonna go to jail….instead..he flipped me the bird…. THAT was when i decided… that traffic laws in DC are more like suggestions…and mostly for tourists… BUT..i still give the “wave” to just about everybody…and in “southern” that justifies all traffic indiscretions
xoxo
For some reason I am not surprised.
i think the fact that most of the drivers inane enough to wait until the last minute like that will have little qualms about just scraping the crap out of their pinto to get into the space.
…and then they’ll try to blame it on you for not “letting them in” as if it is their constitutional right.
I, too, get pissed off with the idiots at the RFK/Pennsylvania Avenue split. I lay on the horn the moment someone stops to try to merge over. Makes me feel better about the whole thing.
Oh, and to top it off, the person who I honked at on Wednesday honked back, pissed off at me! Of course, he got the bird.
I wonder how many idiots there will be on Thursday night….
I am trying not to think about it.