Yeah, so I’m…

me: hypothetical?
Soob: ?
me: say you were a guy. what sort of bribery would be required to go see He’s Just Not That Into You
Soob: head
and if that is not available
HGH Oral me: HA
Soob: i would imagine something like promise of lots of booze
me: ok, see.. i was just telling someone that i would not go see it unless, and that she didn’t want to know what unless was
Soob: hahaahahahaha
me: incidentally she said that we are not “unlessing”, so the movie is out of consideration.
Soob: hahaha

…

me: i said that movie is more emasculating than sex and the city
it’s close, i think… but i think i’m right
Soob: i think you are too
me: i might accept a non-claw grip handjob for sex and the city.
Soob: really! thats interesting
me: might!
Soob: id expect youd need more than that
hahaahah
me: 3 handjobs at a time of my choosing?
Soob: well, that seems a little more along the lines of what I’d expect
me: right, but 3 hj < 1 bj
Soob: hrm
really?
me: hj is minimal effort.
well, not minimal
but strikingly less than bj
Soob: oh wait
i totally read that backwards
hahahaha
LESS than
that makes more sense
me: ok. haha
so we’re on the same page
Soob: yes
i totally agree
me: ok… so the question i guess is how many hj = 1 bj?
Soob: i would say at least 5
me: so i should be asking for 5 to see sex and the city
Soob: haha
no
four or so
since you didnt require a bj for that
youd need at least 5 for He’s Just Not That Into You
me: 4 1/2
Soob: oh come on
4
me: what, 4 and then one where the girl gets me there and i finish
Soob: ehhh
me: By the way, this is probably the greatest gchat conversation I’ve ever had.
Soob: id say 4 is enough for that movie, but i guess im slightly biased because im female and my arms cant take that sort of repetition
hahahahaah
me: haha, not in a row… 4 whenever over the course of like a month or something
Soob: oh
well
i guess 4 1/2 then wouldnt be too bad
i dont know, would you rather have 5 hjs or 1 bj?
me: though it would give you a chance to work on your ambidexterity
Soob: haha
me: …even still, i’d need time to recover between sets.
hahahaha
Soob: hahahaha
like tennis
me: part of the allure of the hjs is that i could take one anytime i wanted
Soob: see thats what i figure
so maybe our calculation is messed up
i mean, the value of 5 vs. 1
i dunno
id take the 5
me: i think you were right with 4
5 i think is the tipping point for me
Soob: yeah, i think that might outweigh 1 bj
and
as an aside, i cant believe we’re having this conversation
ahahahahaha
me: i told you, greatest gchat conversation i’ve ever had
Soob: ditto
hilarious
me: but there’s no way i could blog this [ed. note: so I was wrong]
Soob: hahaha
why not?
and
i cant think of an analgous situation for women
i mean
what is it?
me: well on the ground floor it’s oral vs. manual stimulation
Soob: i guess that is correct
me: but is there that much of a difference between being eaten out and being fingered from a pleasurability standpoint?
Soob: uh
yes
and by yes
i mean
YES
me: enough to generate a 4:1 ratio?
or more?
Soob: oh yeah
easy
me: and if so, is it anywhere within the realm of negotiation – like is it something severe like 100:1
Soob: oh no
i think its comparable
to hj v bj
me: and remember, we’re talking manual only vs. oral only
Soob: oh i know
I do think its comparable 4:1
me: the only problem is you couldn’t as easily use up one of your 4 anytime… like, hypothetically, i could be in the car and say “ok i’ll take a handjob now”
Soob: this is true…
me: i wouldn’t be so seedy as to, call for it while out at a bar, but the option would be there. haha
Soob: hahaha
i mean
feasibly i can get it in the car
but it isnt as viable, i admit
me: would affect driving considerably more
Soob: so maybe due to physical constraints
it would be something like 6:1
me: hm… situational effectiveness
Soob: yes
i believe that sort of constraint entitles me to two more to even up the score
me: hm.. well if part of the allure to the 4 hjs is the versatility, i think it has to be taken into consideration for you, so i’ll give it to you.
Soob: <— WINNER!
me: maybe, but now you have to come up with a movie that would be the negotiating base
or some other activity
Soob: going to a tractor pull
me: what about monster truck rally? does that count?
Soob: oh yeah
definitely
me: i should’ve thought of this before… monster jam was just in town